Reveries of a Solitary Walker

When I walked the Camino de Santiago in January and February 2010, one of the most precious aspects of the experience was the solitude.  I'm not an anti-social person, but I do enjoy my own company.  I found that walking for hours on end by myself gave me a chance to do a lot of reflection.  By the end of the day, I'd be ready to sit and write in my travel journal for a bit and then possibly find internet access to upload photos and write a blog entry.  My days began and ended in prayer, and that was a very good thing.

There were also days when I had company.  The three days I spent walking and talking with Javier (a bank manager from Madrid) led to some great conversations.  I learned a lot about botany from Šárka in the time we spent together.  Jan and Michaela, Pascal, Antonio and Arancha,  Luis, Joseba, Regina and her brother - all people I walked and ate and laughed with.  Although I hate to say so because of all the goofy newage stuff that's been written about the Camino, the depth of the bond that forms between pilgrims in a short time is remarkable.  And yet...

The days I walked in silence are the ones I gained the most from.

The Camino is not very busy during the winter months, and from everything I've read so far about walking to Jerusalem, I will meet even fewer pilgrims.  Once I reach Italy, there may be a few who are travelling the Via Francigena to Rome, but from the Balkans onward I don't expect to see anyone but locals.  My early diligence in studying Turkish and Italian has waned, the French I learned in high school is three decades behind me, the snippets of liturgical Greek I know let me keep my place in church services, but Macedonian and Albanian?!?  R-i-i-i-ight.  I do have some basic survival phrases written out, so I won't starve or freeze, but I suspect meaningful conversations will be few and far between.  Even the lexica I've downloaded to my smartphone will be too cumbersome for a fluent discussion.

Oh yes, I'm bringing a smartphone on this trip!  This is mainly so I can give periodic reassurances to my family that I'm still alive, but this thing is an incredible piece of equipment.  When I began working on my master's degree in 1996, my computer was slower and had less RAM and two orders of magnitude less storage space than my BlackBerry Q10.  With a 64 Gb memory card onboard I can load up on music and podcasts and lectures to keep myself entertained, and I've got the Kindle app installed on my phone.  I'll have at least 3G data access available to me whenever I'm in range of a cell tower, and in western Europe I'll probably be picking up LTE.  Then of course there's always WiFi.

Hmmm.  As Melvyn Bragg and his guests pointed out in the programme about The Philosophy of Solitude, being alone is not necessarily the same as being solitary.

Apart from acquiring occasional GPS fixes, I'll be leaving my phone on flight mode almost constantly.  I may check email on a daily basis, but don't expect me to be keeping up with FB, Twitter, G+, Flickr, Instagram, etc.  I do intend to update this blog several times a week and that will be automatically reposted elsewhere, but I'll be incommunicado for six months.

I'm no Rousseau, but I hope that at least some good will come of my long solitary walk.

Calculations and Re-Calibrations

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”

James 4:13-15

I'd been reminded of this truth while preparing myself for walking the Camino de Santiago almost five years ago.  This came to mind again recently because I have re-evaluated my plans for the pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

There have been a number of reasons for this.  The deciding  factor was the issue of the length of time I would be in the Schengen Area following my original plan.  While the 90 day tourist visa would be fine for a non-European walking the Via Francigena, my plans included a minimum of an extra thirty days beyond that -- walking from Rome to Bari and then following the Via Egnatia across northern Greece.  I looked into getting a long stay (National) visa so I wouldn't have to worry about deportation, fines of thousands of Euros, or being banned from entering the Schengen Area for up to five years.

In order to apply for a long stay visa within the Schengen Area, one needs to provide an address: a hotel reservation, or family residence, or perhaps something arranged for by a sponsor.  This I cannot do, since my goal is to be in a different location every night.  Most North Americans planning to spend more than three months in Europe are likely there for one of two reasons: school or work.  There were a few other requirements predicated on this assumption which I simply cannot meet.  The hefty visa application fee is non-refundable, so I attempted to contact two different consulates in Toronto to get advice, even if that was to forget about it.  I was rebuffed by both, although the Italian consulate was at least politely unhelpful as opposed to rudely incredulous.

Rather than take this as an indication to give up on my crazy dream of walking to Jerusalem in time to celebrate Pascha in 2015, I've refined my plan.  Within the next few days, I will be buying a ticket for a flight leaving Toronto on Oct 8 with a 24 hour layover in Ponta Delgada before arriving in Paris.  From Paris, I'll hop a train to Switzerland and begin walking to Rome from there.  I expect to arrive in the Eternal City by mid-November.  No matter how long I stay, I know that I will not have spent enough time there, and the 90 day deadline will still be running.  I'm hoping to do an overnight trip to either Florence or Naples from my base in Rome, before continuing on to Bari.

Once I leave Italy, the timer stops until I re-enter the Schengen Area at the Greek border.  That means I can take a few days in Ohrid without feeling rushed.  Perhaps I'll see the New Year in from Thessaloniki, before continuing on to Istanbul.  Once I'm there, I'll have about a month to kill before continuing on my way to Jerusalem.  I could simply leave Toronto a month later, but I'd like to avoid snow while crossing the Alps on foot, and Istanbul is as good a place to rest and relax as any.  (Although..... round trip flights between Istanbul and Beirut are quite cheap.  Perhaps I'll be able to see my Lebanese friends after all!)

In order to arrive in Jerusalem in time for Holy Week (which follows the western Christian celebration by a week in 2015), I should be leaving Istanbul by the third week of February.  Orthodox Christians begin their journey of Great Lent on 23 February in 2015...

So, there is the revised plan.  If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this.

Great and Holy Friday

Today He who hung the earth upon the waters is hung on the tree,
The King of the angels is decked with a crown of thorns.
He who wraps the heavens in clouds is wrapped in the purple of mockery.
He who freed Adam in the Jordan is slapped on the face.
The Bridegroom of the Church is affixed to the Cross with nails.
The Son of the virgin is pierced by a spear.
We worship Thy passion, O Christ.
We worship Thy passion, O Christ.
We worship Thy passion, O Christ.
Show us also Thy glorious resurrection.

15th Antiphon, Great and Holy Friday Orthros

I am in touch with my emotions, but I am not given to sentimentalism. That is why I was stunned when, on hearing the above hymn for the first time in 1996, I found myself sobbing. This evening, as I knelt in a darkened church with tears running down my face, I tried to articulate the reason for this very out of character response. Here's what I came up with. (It may seem rather abstract, but that's the way I interact with the world.)

The crucifixion of Christ is much more than the execution of a failed insurrectionist. Mel Gibson's movie did a great job of showing the gory details of a Roman crucifixion, but as ghastly as it was, such atrocities have been part of the human experience up to this day. If the gore in The Passion of the Christ bothered you, you likely don't follow international news. Yes, it's horrible, but it happens every day to men, women, and children -- innocent people who love their families (and are loved by them) are brutally snuffed out of existence. This is the world we live in. What makes the death of Christ different for me is hinted at in the hymn. The source of Life is killed. The ordering principle (Logos) of all creation is erased. Meaning is extinguished, the abyss of nihilism gazes into each human heart.

The insane man jumped into their midst and transfixed them with his glances. "Where is God gone?" he called out. "I mean to tell you! We have killed him, you and I! We are all his murderers! But how have we done it? How were we able to drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away the whole horizon? What did we do when we loosened this earth from its sun? Whither does it now move? Whither do we move? Away from all suns? Do we not dash on unceasingly? Backwards, sideways, forwards, in all directions? Is there still an above and below? Do we not stray, as through infinite nothingness? Does not empty space breathe upon us? Has it not become colder? Does not night come on continually, darker and darker? ... God is dead! God remains dead! And we have killed him! How shall we console ourselves, the most murderous of all murderers? The holiest and the mightiest that the world has hitherto possessed, has bled to death under our knife - who will wipe the blood from us?

-Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science

What makes this hymn on this day tolerable is the final line. Show us also Thy glorious resurrection. It points beyond death and despair. In just a few more days, we will be celebrating Christ's victory over hades, the fact that He has trampled down Death by death. I'll conclude with a few lines from the Paschal Homily (Hieratikon) of St John Chrysostom:

Let no one fear death, for the Savior’s death has set us free. He that was held prisoner of it has annihilated it. By descending into Hell, He made Hell captive. He embittered it when it tasted of His flesh. And Isaiah, foretelling this, did cry: Hell, said he, was embittered, when it encountered Thee in the lower regions. It was embittered, for it was abolished. It was embittered, for it was mocked. It was embittered, for it was slain. It was embittered, for it was overthrown. It was embittered, for it was fettered in chains. It took a body, and met God face to face. It took earth, and encountered Heaven. It took that which was seen, and fell upon the unseen. O Death, where is your sting? O Hell, where is your victory? Christ is risen, and you are overthrown. Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen. Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice. Christ is risen, and life reigns.

a short jaunt

Today we got up to -12 C in the sunshine, with a slight breeze out of the
west. While I don't expect to ever -- EVER -- encounter temperatures like
this on the great trek to Jerusalem, I thought today would be a good day
to do a live test of my layering system.

The results were encouraging. It took me 40 minutes to walk 4 km, so I
was moving at a good pace, especially considering the slush, snow, and ice
that was covering the sidewalks most of the way. The tip of my nose got a
little cold because I can't cover it without having my glasses completely
fog up, my arms felt a slight chill, but my core was actually a little too
warm. (Too warm in the winter is just as dangerous as too cold, since
once most clothing gets damp from sweat it loses a lot of its insulating
qualities.) Next time I'll leave the insulated vest at home and add an
extra long-sleeved layer.

Forgiveness Sunday

There is a great write-up about this Sunday at goarch.org. A much shorter version was posted to Facebook by Dcn. David B. Keim, who wrote:

Forgive me, a sinner. Forgive me because I am a sinner. Because I am connected to creation and, thus, my sins contribute to the fracturing of it. Because the evil I introduce into the world affects you. Because there is no such thing as private sins. Because my sins – even the ones not aimed at you and that you will never know about – are, therefore, sins against you. For all that: forgive me, a sinner.

And so, whoever finds themselves reading this, please forgive me.